I remember talking to Bishop Foote one time and he asked if Jaren and I said prayers together, I told him no. He laughed a little to himself and said, "that's because you don't have teenagers yet." That has stuck with me all these years!
I go on walks with Meagan sometimes and she tells me about how she can see things in her kids that Micah can't see and when she tries to talk to him about it, he doesn't seem to see think they are problems and Meagan is left to address it on her own.
I remember my mom growing up, she was always the one who laid down the rules, and enforced them.
And as our kids get older in our house, I can see all of these things being true here as well. I see things in our kids that Jaren DOES NOT see! Emotional things. I understand them on an emotional level and I know when they're hurting. When they're angry, I understand what emotion their masking. Little comments, I see how they affect them. Hard topics & things people don't want to talk about, I see and understand the need and urgency in which we need to talk to our kids about them. And I WANT TO! I want to talk to them about these things. But I am the only one! I bring these things up with Jaren and he may agree but then nothing ever happens! We don't sit down and talk about anything, ever!
In fact the overall mind frame at out house is entertain, entertain, entertain! I find it boring. We went in to watch White Collar last night as a family and I was almost annoyed. Really? Television, again? There has got to be better things we can and should be doing with out time! I know there are other things I would rather be doing with my time! But how in the world do you get teenagers to think outside of themselves and think about anyone other than themselves without forcing the issue? And if you force the issue, it becomes something they are bitter about.
So yeah, we have a lot of things in our household that need to be addressed!
The amount of television/electronics that is being watched!
The inappropriate things that are being googled.
Sex in general! We need to able to answer their questions and let them know they can talk to us. Why does Jaren always dodge this when I bring it up and feel like it's not an important thing to talk about? That is SO WEIRD to me!
Service! How can they start to think outside of themselves?
Emotions. How can we as a family treat each others emotions better and make this home a safe place where everyone feels welcomed and like they belong.
And here's the thing, these will all fall on me! None of these things will ever be addressed if I don't come up with a game plan and if I don't see it through. And I find that frustrating and exhausting! But yet I know it needs to be done! I hope that when I come up with some sort of game plan and present it to Jaren that he will go along with me. I think he probably will but the thing is I need help in the coming up with the game plan part of it and so I am going to have to turn to God and have Him help me.
Today I feel overwhelmed! I feel like I see so many things that need to change in our family and I feel all alone in trying to implement them! I hope and pray that God can give me courage to do the things I need to do, and grace in the way I do them! And PATIENCE!
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