So many tears today! So many!
I cried as I wrote in my journal this morning about that sweet girl in my ward who tried to commit suicide. And then some more after I talked to her mom.
A friend from the ward came over today and cried as she told me about the very real and very hard trials her daughter is going through. I cried with her.
Tonight I got word that Naomi, Rebecca's daughter, committed suicide. My jaw dropped! Twenty four hours ago, where there was life, there is no more. That sweet girl is no longer with us. I didn't see her much and I wasn't especially close to her, but she is still my niece, and I still know how special of a girl she is.
In all the sadness I feel, which is a lot right now, I also feel peace! It's so weird to me that those two feelings can even go hand-in-hand. Jaren came over to give me a hug and as I cried into his shoulder I knew that Jesus was there to greet Naomi. To wrap her in a hug and tell her, "it's over." I called Rebecca, almost immediately, to tell her that I love her. There isn't much else to say, really! And she said the same thing. She said that she felt like, recently, God had been preparing her for this. God had been guiding Rebecca to be able to "let go" of Naomi. And she has been confused, until today! And while Rebecca knows the same things I do, that Naomi can now be free of ALL the trauma, she misses her! And there in lies the sadness! It's her daughter, and not only did Rebecca give EVERYTHING to try and help her, but they had grown to be friends.
It's interesting, to have those two feelings be so predominant. I never knew sadness and peace could co-exist so comfortably together.
Not much to say, other than that I am grateful for a Savior, to welcome Naomi, to hug her and to finally heal her from all the pains this life gave her.
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