This concept is a game changer for kids and adults alike. Have you ever been hijacked by your emotions? Really, we all have at some point in life. Something happens and we're upset, scared or embarrassed and we react immediately, without any thought to our behavior.
When the emotional part of our brain has taken over, our brains can be a lot like a glitter ball. We can't really think or see the end result clearly. It becomes hard to make good decisions. But if you take the time to let that glitter settle, or, to let your emotions settle, then just like you can see clearly through the glitter ball, you can see clearly what the better choice is to make. It's giving your brain time to switch from the current emotional hijacked state it's in to a thinking, rational state.
While an emotional hijack can come sometimes just lead to embarrassing moments for us it can often lead to mush worse. Holes punched in walls, people physically hurt, harsh words spoken, lies told, aggressive language and road rage are just a few examples.
Here's one from my own life. I scheduled an oil appointment at the dealership where I bought my car, the oil changes are free there for the life of the car so why not. I'll tell you why not! They always take hours longer than they say they will! I knew this too, when I called to schedule my appointment, so I was upfront with them.
"I'd like to schedule an appointment to get my oil changed. In the past, you guys usually take a lot longer than you say you will. So I need to find a day when I can be in and out by 2:30 so I can get my kids from school" I said.
"No problem," she tells me "If you come in on (said day) at noon I can make sure you're done by 2:30"
"Noon? I really don't think that's going to be enough time" I tell her. Experience! Experience!
"No, listen. My name is (insert female name). You ask for me when you get here. I promise you, we can have you in and out by 2:30."
The day comes, I show up at 11:30 with things to keep me entertained for the next three hours. I decided to show up a half hour early just to be sure. I take my seat in the lobby and times passes.
At 2:20 I decide to head to the desk to make sure my car is going to be done in about 10 minutes. As I approach I can see my car. It's sitting in the exact spot I left it. The window is rolled down to the same spot it was when I left. Fear begins to creep in. Surely they didn't forget about my car? Experience! They TOTALLY forgot about my car! Stay calm! Within minutes I was being apologized to profusely.
I can't explain the anger. It was one of those moments where my body felt twice it's normal size because it was consumed with anger. My cheeks were hot. I had so many nasty things I was thinking about this lady who promised me she would have me in and out by 2:30. I knew the very best thing to do was walk away! I did not have time to let all those emotions settle before I had to leave to get my kids. But I knew they needed to settle before I opened my mouth.
Had I opened my mouth I would have been red in the face, swearing and probably spitting as I spoke. This is not the type of person I want to be! So I walked out.
By the time I got my kids at 3:00 I had taken all the deep breaths! My emotions had settled. I could see clearly and in return I could react in a way that is aligned with the person I want to be.
Instead of this scenario ending with me spitting swear words at this lady it ended like this; I called the dealership and explained to a manager my frustrations. I explained that they waisted my time - not just today but on numerous occasions - and my time is valuable. Since they could not give me my time back they could give me something of value. I know that to get my car detailed (which it desperately needed) was over $100. He agreed to detail my car for free as well as give me $100 toward future services.
Letting your glitter settle doesn't mean not dealing with the current situation. It means letting yourself get to a point where you can deal with a situation in a manner that represents who you are and what you stand for. It's not allowing yourself to be hijacked by your emotions.
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