How to tell you kids … I don’t have the answers for every person out there, it’s such a personal thing to share about yourself and you need to do it in a way that works best for you, but also in a way that children can understand. I can however, tell you why I decided to tell my kids and how I did it.
Why? Because it is a part of my life. And recovering from it is a HUGE accomplishment. There are SO many valuable lessons to teach my kids from my own experiences and I didn’t want to have to leave anything out or only tell half the story. I wanted to be able to share my struggles, my pains, my victories, my self discoveries, what it feels like to believe and know with all your heart you have worth, how I got to the point where I knew I had worth, how love can transform a person, and so many other things. But it would be impossible to share all these things without having them understand all the background. I want to be able to talk freely and openly about it. I don’t ever want it to be a conversation that is off limits. I hope it they ever have questions they know they can ask.
How? I thought about this for a long time and ultimately decided to use the Disney movie Moana as a parable.
In the movie, the island of Te Fiti gets its heart stolen and when that happens, the island responds by hurting all the other islands around it. I told my kids that when I was a little girl someone hurt me very badly. I asked them if they knew what sexual abuse was. My older one did, my younger one did not. I explained to them that sexual abuse is sexual behavior done to a person without their consent, or when someone forces you to do something sexual to them, or with them, when you don’t want to. I then told them that when I was a little girl I was sexually abused. And when that happened it made me feel very sad inside. So sad in fact, that it was like I too had had my heart stolen from me. And then I asked them what the island did when it had its heart stolen, and since we had just talked about it, they knew. They said it hurt the other islands around it. I told them that it’s very similar when humans get their heart stolen, they feel so bad on the inside that they can end up hurting the people around them. And I did that! I hurt some of the most important people in my life. But just like in the movie, I had someone that came to me when I was hurting. You know how Moana approaches the island right at it’s nastiest state? When it’s huge and mean and throwing fire balls? Well I had someone come to me to at that point too. And then Moana tells the Island I know your name, she’s telling the island “I see you. I know who you really are. This is not who you really are”. And I had my own Moana that came to me.
This is where I got to tell my children about my Savior, and I cried as I told them. I told them just like Moana went to the island and said I know your name, my Savior came to me and helped me see that this was not who I really was. I know your name! I know how beautiful you are on the inside. I told my children, He is real. He can heal your pain. He is my very best friend. John 14:18 says “I will not leave you comfortless, I will come to you.” If there’s one thing I have learned it is that our Savior Jesus Christ is a promise keeper.
It went better than I could have imagined. I used it as a gate way into ways they can protect themselves against having the same thing happen to them and how important it is to tell us if anything ever does happen. I emphasized that I know how scary it is to say something should anything ever happen, but also how important it is and that if anyone can understand, it is me, their mom.
If there is one message I would want to share with the world, it is this one ... that Jesus Christ's love is the most powerful thing I've ever encountered! It has the ability to change us from the inside out. It has the power to breathe worth deep into our souls so that we know how valuable we are! And when we know of our true value, and where it comes from, it changes us, forever. How could it not? You treat things that are valuable with great care!
Comentários